Daily: 2007

I am not a big Apple fangirl. But in the past year my life has gone from 90% PC to 100% Apple (mostly because of work). And although it hasn't been a particularly painful conversion, there are some things that I really, really wish Santa would shove down Steve Jobs' throat in order to make my life a little less frustrating.

1) A docking station for laptops. Jesus F. Christ, Apple, how long is it going to take you to figure this one out? I have to plug in 6 different cords every day when I get to work and it really pisses me off. Especially because the damn monitor connector takes 10 minutes to align and attach.

2) A patch to Leopard that will let me navigate up out of network folders when I directly connect to a subfolder. In Tiger, all I had to do was open the little three line pulldown and select the parent folder, but now it only lists the subfolder and the computer name. Maybe I'm just stupid (very possible), but I can't for the life of me find any other way to go *up*.

3) A MacBook tablet. I used a Wacom art tablet in the 90s when I worked for IBM and became a pen addict. I've been using a tiny 4X6 pad instead of a mouse for about 7 years now. But to get immediate visual feedback (so I could, you know, actually draw), I would have to sink around $2000 into one of Wacom's tablet monitors, which I would then have to plug into my laptop (sort of defeating the concept of portability). The only portable tablet computers out there are PCs and are 12 inches wide, *and* cost almost $2000. And since all my graphics programs are Mac that is just not going to work for me. I am seriously considering trying to hook this Wiimote mod into my Mac as a temporary solution. The Apple iPhone has proved that Apple has the technology, and the rumors of a tablet have been floating for over TWO YEARS. Why, oh why, can't I have my MacBook tablet? *sniff*

Is that too much to ask for? I don't want to be greedy, Santa, but may I remind you that my childhood xmases were a bit meager (I mean, 18 years of socks was bad enough, but couldn't you at least have wrapped them? or put on a bow?). And you know I never get birthday presents because everyone is too distracted by the holidays. So if you could just give Steve Jobs a friendly little visit, Futurama-style, and let him know what I'm looking for in 2008, I would really appreciate it.

I hate shopping. I am only subjecting myself to the torture this month because I really need a Nice Dinner Dress. I don't have a nice dinner dress already because, well, I am not the sort of person you invite over for a nice dinner. Not unless you really want dear Auntie Margaret to start screaming across the table in the middle of the soup course that human race is - as a whole - going straight to hell and that soulless whore with blue hair is the one leading the way.

I bought my one and only formal dress on eBay seven years ago (because I mean it - I *really* hate shopping). And when I was invited to a wedding a few months back, I realized how ghastly inappropriate it was for nice events. I really didn't mean to upstage the bride. She was lovely. But the complete train wreck that was my outfit was hard to look away from. I don't have a photo, but to give you some idea, I really gravitate toward dresses like this and this. But the dress I wore was much more scant and revealing. Sharon Stone would have been ashamed.

So I need a new dress. There are company parties to go to, parties where I don't want to embarrass my Significant Other, or at least not more than he's used to. And I am not really that picky. I'd like something comfortable. Something that fits both formal events and the less-than-formal parties common in Seattle (where a t-shirt is still acceptable attire at a five-star restaurant). Something that doesn't scream slutty tasteless teenager *or* dowdy old grandmother. Something in a nice color. Something I can wear with a bra.

But after walking through the entire mall and looking in EVERY store, I realized that fashion was not in my favor this year. Pretty much all of them violated one of the rules above. Especially because strapless appears to be the big style indicator this season.

I mean, I've seen those stupid fashion shows on TV with the bitchy british blondes or Tim Gunn, offering all this advice to girls about what they should wear and how fashion is your friend. Fashion is *not* your friend. Not unless your friends are catty debutantes who talk about you behind your back and deliberately suggest outfits that make your butt look fat, just so they will look nicer by comparison. Fashion is about conformity. Conformity in color, body shape, height, quality (or lack thereof). Fashion is about buying that $500 dress at Nordstrom because everyone knows where you got it and how much it cost, and no one cares that it was made in a third-world country by sewing-challenged four-year-olds. It won't fit you nicely. It won't be a pretty color. But it will cost a lot of money. And it will probably fall apart after wearing it once, which is - let's face it - exactly what it's supposed to do.

And I am just ranting to properly express how much I hate this entire shopping industry. It's not just the act of shopping, you see, but the advertising, the sales staff, the restricted yearly color palette, the shabby end product. It's all crap. My favorite pieces of clothing have - universally - been the ones I made myself. And I am not so great with a sewing machine.

But in all my miserable search for a half-decent dress I did manage to stumble across something online the other day. In fact, this was not just a dress that I could settle on because I am tired of shopping - this was my dream dress. I loved the color. I loved the style. With minimal tinkering I could make it work with a bra. And it was a even a little quirky and playful, but dignified enough to meet a VP or two. But it's a fucking Gaultier. And it's $500.

I can't spend $500 on a dress. That is more than my entire wardrobe combined. Including shoes. It's not that I don't have $500; this is a moral dilemma thing. I am not that girl. That Sex-In-The-City girl who spends more on shoes than rent. But what if this is the only dress I like? What if there is an ocean of crap out there at the acceptable $200 and this is the only shining star? Or will this be the start of an avalanch of irresponsible spending? Will I follow this purchase with the $1500 bookcase that I've been drooling over? Will I run up my credit cards and burn down my house and find myself exactly where I was seven years ago: homeless, recklessly in debt, with no one to turn to.

*sigh*

I think there's a fine line between frugal and psychotically paranoid.

I had the great pleasure of seeing Julia Sweeney's One-Woman show tonight, "Letting Go Of God". I saw parts of it last year at the Paramount and instantly loved it. The extended version was amazing. I think the shorter version was a concentration of the funny bits, and the longer version had a lot more socks to the gut.

When I was abandoning the Mormon faith, I belonged to a group called "Recovery from Mormonism." It was a sort of an online therapy group. They collected stories former members told of their experiences (often AWFUL experiences) in leaving the Mormon church. I always wanted to post my story there, but I never felt like I had a "finished" version. And by the time it was finished, I couldn't remember anymore how it felt like when I was actually there.

Julia Sweeney has no such problem. She elegantly carries the audience through her entire journey, in the moment, with no hints of what is to come. It was funny and satirical, of course, but it was also devastating and embarrassing and filled with all the grief of lost fairy tales. I can't say that I've read as much on the many, many topics that led her to atheism, but her conclusions resonated very strongly with me. Especially the conversation she has with her mother, where she says she is more at peace now than she was before. And that it really sucks to re-evaluate one's own impending demise, especially given the better understanding of one's own significance (or lack thereof) in the universe at large (cv. Douglas Adams and fairy cake).

As soon as the movie is released, I will be buying it for myself and all my friends. But in the meantime, you can enjoy this amusing clip of Julia Sweeney's encounter with the Mormon Missionaries.

When I first saw Annie Lennox's "Walking on Broken Glass" on MTV, I remember feeling this sort of breathless anxiety: here was something so stunning and gorgeous and heartbreaking, and I could only see it for a few minutes before it was gone forever (this was the early 90s, when MTV couldn't spare time from 24/7 rap music and country to show alternative music). It's hard to explain this to an audience in the Aughts, where everything is so easily available online, where Wikipedia provides all the backstory and sources a person could ever need. But at the time, there was a void, and when you found something beautiful, chances are you would never see it again. And time eventually erased most of those moments from my mind, and even the ones I do remember to look up today seem to have lost their titles and identifying information in the mess that is my brain.

So when I was reading about Annie Lennox's new album in the NYT this week, it was with some chagrin that I abruptly remembered "Walking on Broken Glass." And technology had finally advanced enough that I could retrieve this particular moment of my past.

"Walking on Broken Glass"

But there was a little bonus. I start the video on youtube and within two seconds, I see a familiar face. I didn't need more than two seconds, because I am, you see, a HUGE fan of Rowan Atkinson's BlackAdder. "OMG!" I yell to the Significant Other (whom, as noted in previous posts, I often torture with my BBC obsessions), "OMG! It's Hugh Laurie! Did you know Hugh Laurie was in this video?!?" And of course he didn't, so we had to watch all 4 minutes and then look it up on Wikipedia to be sure. It was like a real-life DVD Easter Egg.

I am currently reading Diana Wynne Jones' "The Game." And I know that she writes children's books, but I've gotta say that she is the *master* at creating male characters that you completely fall in love with. There are millions of anime fans out there in love with "Howl's Moving Castle" who know exactly what I mean here. Myself, I'm a Chrestomanci junkie. He was the stuff of my teenage fantasies. In "The Game," she creates this man with a few paragraphs. Less than one page, a tiny description and a bit of witty banter, and I completely adore Flute.

But I gotta say, it makes me feel played. Like there is this stereotype of the man I would totally fall for, and she is exploiting it. Exploiting it to a tee.

I read some really embarassingly bad romance novels in my younger years. My sisters were big Harlequin readers, so I tried a few out. I think my favorite (at the time) were the Regency Romances, which were like tarted-up Jane Austen. But they were all terribly formulaic (like Jane Austen): girl meets boy, girl hates boy, girl and boy torment each other, girl realizes boy's Tortured Soul, boy discovers girl's True Worth, they pine away thinking the other hates him/her, then on the last page reveal their love and all is perfect. It got very tiresome, and thank god there was plenty of good Barbara Hambly out there to save me from it.

But I think a lot of people still hold to this stereotypical ideal of a man. I see it in film all the time, and people still *adore* Jane Austen. And although I am largely immune to their beloved Angry Misogynist With Troubled Past, I wonder when I watch Doctor Who if I am not just part of a different group of brainwashed women, seeking out the Lonely Jester. Yup, all around the world are hordes of women swooning over David Tennant.

And that makes me feel... really damn stupid.

I've been completely brainwashed. This is not a real person with bad breath in the morning and a constant need to fondle your breasts at inconvenient moments. The Lonely Jester doth not need a fourth slice of pizza and a quick jaunt to the loo after. He doesn't even have annoying siblings and bossy parents. He is missing whole parts of a real human being, with the rest just sketched in by an artful and manipulative hand.

But I still fall for it. *sigh* Adorable Flute with his white hair and ready grin. Damn you, Jones, you are perpetuating my unrealistic fantasies. And please don't stop... ;)

Cupid is my favorite cancelled TV show. I recorded it faithfully to VHS every week it was on the air. And I still break out the VCR to watch it now and again. But if you had asked me in the last decade would they ever bring it back, I would have had to say no. Like Farscape, Firefly, and Brisco County Junior, most shows seem to have that moment when everything comes together - actors, scripts, special effects, humor, current events - and it is impossible to repeat (cv. the Farscape Movie). And networks seem to be like bratty two-year-old children, holding onto the rights to shows which they capriciously cancelled in a pouty "If I couldn't make you successful, then no one else will either."

So color me shocked that it's been officially announced that YES, they are bringing back Cupid. With a new cast and a big rewrite. I dunno, I'm cautiously hopeful. The fact that it is on network television is a big thumbs down for me, but the new casting and writing might make it work (I love Jeremy Piven, but I just don't think he is "Trevor" anymore).

And even if it sucks, BuzzSugar has been kind enough to alert me to another fan who posted all the episodes to YouTube. So I can finally get rid of my VCR.

Note: All UK Whovians who are a season ahead of us here in the States, go away. I don't want your "I know what's going to happen" gloating, dammit!

So I haven't been so keen on Doctor Who season three, which has violated many of my rules about Doctor Who (like the Harry Potter reference - hello! no too-current Pop Culture references!). But last week was Blink, which - of course, Stephen Moffat! - was fabulous. And they showed a preview of *this* week and I started screaming, "Oh My God! It's the Master! They're bringing back the Master!" And I began bouncing across the apartment like a two-year-old going to Disneyland on a pogo stick. My Significant Other - who up till now has been putting up with my weird Doctor Who obsession with grace and discretion - just stared at me in bemusement, having never watched the original series and still struggling to come to grips with my need to have a remote control Dalek. "The Master!!!" I screamed at him. "'I,Claudius' is going to play the Master!"*

Well, once my enthusiasm faded in a weekend of binge drinking and playing WoW, I am sure my S.O. forgot all about this outburst. But this weekend at 5:45PM I interupted WoW with enthusiastic screams yet again: "Oh My God! He *IS* the Master! Look, look, he's the Master!!" Because the Master is my favorite. The Daleks... well, they are fine and all. The Cyberman, yeah, I like them. But THE MASTER. And *I* knew he was coming. I was ready.

Dammit, *I* should be writing for this show. I wouldn't make Pop Culture references-!

*Classicist Note: 'I, Claudius' is mandatory watching for all Latin Majors. The Significant Other understands this reference.

Website redesign is like crack for us web developers. Imagine suddenly acquiring a brand-new studio, built precisely to your specifications, and already furnished with all your favorite old things, laid out all feng shui and perfect. This is an especially apt analogy for me, given that I can't even find an old and run-down apartment for myself in this city. But at least my artwork will be housed well. :)

Some notable features of the new mleiv.com:

• Yup, this is MovableType 4. Bye-bye custom CMS... :_(
• I have changed the dates on the artwork to more accurately reflect the date in which it first debuted on the web (rather than the date of my first dated CMS - 10/2005). Note that this is not the same as the creation date (which is noted on the copyright).
• Images now have zoom. Ala deviantArt, all the images are sized to a 500px width/height limit. To see the full size, go to the individual page and click the image to load the larger size (where available).
• Clicking images on index and search pages now leads to the individual page. It just seemed like that is how it should work.
• Polling is now 100% AJAX. This is because MovableType doesn't have a polling plugin (and since I hate PERL, I can't fix this myself). Bad MovableType, Bad! *smacks nose* I will add back other dynamic features in AJAX - like my random links - when I get the chance.
• All previous links should continue working for now - thanks to .htaccess and my damn fine PHP skills. Yay for LAMP!