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About Me: 2005 Archives

I love a lot of movies. I don't go see movies, mind you, but I acquire DVDs and watch them at home... over and over and over again. I have tried other categorizations, but here they are under What I Liked Best.

Wickedly Quotable

I love witty reparte and a bit of dark humor.

BlackAdder - "Cold is God's way of telling us to burn more Catholics."

OfficeSpace - "It's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care."

Firefly - "Oh, I'm gonna go to the special hell."

The Long Kiss Goodnight - "Are you just stupid or did you take lessons?" "I took lessons!"

L.A. Story - "With a financial statement like zis, you think you can have ze duck?"

Old French Toys

You know those French dolls, with the little painted china faces and 19th century costumes: harlequins, ballerinas, and aristocrats. And complex machinery with big dirty spokes and pulleys and more twists than a Durer labyrinth. If you like Gilliam, you know what I'm talking about. I love that whole look, the grimey, broken, abandoned ambience made all the more shocking by its innocent and playful origins.

Labyrinth - The Venetian masked ball.

Batman Returns - An old-fashioned Christmas, abandoned Zoo, evil circus clowns, and the ballerina with her poodle.

Lexx (Season 3) - The planet Fire.

The Crow: City of Angels - Beautiful, but run-down.

Abandoned Buildings

I am a sucker for scary movies with abandoned buildings... or abandoned ships, or abandoned cities, whatever.

The Frighteners - The hospital scenes.

Event Horizon - The abandoned language is a special bonus.

Anything with Bruce Campbell

Bruce, baby, I've loved you since the "Dont Waste Utah" ads. :) Runners-up in the Will-Watch-For-Cute-Guy are Jean Reno, Jeremy Piven, Scott Cohen, John Hannah, Seth Green, Malcolm Mcdowell, and Danny Elfman (well, I mostly watch movies for his soundtracks, but he was in The Gift).

Cartoons

Lilo & Stitch. Yup, I am a total sucker for cute widdle alien pets.

Invader Zim - "They're made of WAFFLE!"

Because I am seriously misanthropic and don't have a large community with which to share vocabulary, I seem to have developed my own peculiar use of words. Sometimes this causes a serious communication problem, like the time I told a sommelier that my wine tasted warm and he asked if he should chill it for me. So here is your reference next time I use a word in an unfamiliar context.

Barbie - adj., a beautiful but shallow and narcissistic girl. Works best as a unique identifier when you know several women with the same name and want to single out the one you dislike. Example: Did you hear that Barbie Becky used her college fund to get plastic surgery?

Blair Witch - adj., something of mixed authenticity or sincerity. Example: That last Bruce Campbell novel was seriously in Blair Witch territory. Does he even know Richard Gere?

Bug - noun, an endearment, usually for a small animal. Example: Isn't he just the cutest fluffy fluff-bug?

Entitlement - noun, a sense that one deserves something for some passive quality, and particularly that one deserves it more than everyone else, regardless of the typical rules of fair play. Often manifests in mothers, rich teenage girls, and businesspersons. Can be used in the verbal form also. Example: I can't believe that mother of two cut in line in front of 200 people who had been waiting all day. That's some bald-faced entitlement!

Froofy - adj., describing a woman with large, overstyled hair. By extension, anything too girly, cluttered, and unnecessary. Example: She had this awful froofy room with teddy bears and precious moments everywhere.

Honey - noun, an attractive person; someone you would have sex with. Example: Scott Cohen is such a honey!

Mercutian - adj., someone possessing the mystery, wit, and attraction of Shakespeare's Mercutio. A jester with sex appeal. Example: David Tennant plays a very Mercutian Doctor Who.

Puppy - noun, an adorable dog of any age. Example: I haven't seen your puppy in years, how is he doing?

Stuptastic - adjective, something stupid on such a large scale that it's fantastic. From the TV show "Top Gear." Example: You put an entire bar in your trunk?!? That's stuptastic!

UME - noun, an acronym for Unjustified Male Ego, referring to the overconfidence often found in men lacking physical, mental, or artistic merit, with this attitude especially prominent when comparing themselves to women. This trait often leads to violent outbursts in an attempt to maintain male superiority. Example: I was almost run off the road by a guy with serious UME after I tried to pass him in the carpool lane.

Warm - adj., a flavor homey and comforting, reminiscent of sitting by a crackling fire on a snowy night. Example: I loved that tea. It was so warm and cinnamony.

Learn how to swallow sensitive documents by Friday, 2PM
The extreme always seems to make an impression. Heathers

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